Major Obstacles for Tennis Parents. Questions to ask yourself.

To contribute to the success of a coaching program, parents must be willing and able to commit themselves in many different ways. The following questions serve as important reminders of the scope of parents’ responsibilities. You should be able to honestly answer "YES” to each one.

Can I let my child make his/her own decisions?

• An important part of growing up is accepting responsibility for one's own behavior and decisions. As your child matures, you should offer suggestions and guidance about but within reasonable limits, you should let your child go his or her own way. All parents have ambitions for their children, but they must accept the fact that they cannot dominate their children's lives. Sports can offer an introduction to the major parental challenge of letting go.

Can I admit my mistakes?

• You must be convinced that the proper response to a mistake or not knowing something is an honest disclosure. When you make a mistake, you must not hesitate to admit it and openly discuss it with your son or daughter and this in turn will help your child to accept their mistakes and they might seek you advise as well.

Can I give my child some of my time?

• You’ll need to decide how much time can be devoted to your child's sport activities. Problem arise when parents are very busy, yet are also interested and want to encourage their children. Never ignore your child by telling them that you don’t have time. If you really wish to, you will make some time doesn't matter how busy you are. Make every effort to watch at least one match or accompany them for a tournament once in a while and observe how your child is motivated to perform while you watch. Never promise more time than you can actually deliver, this will only lead to your child's disappointment.
• Remember, devoting to much of your time to your child is not good either.

Can I accept my child's triumphs?

•    This sounds easy, but it’s not always so. Some parents don’t realise it.Fathers in particular may be competitive with their sons. When a players plays well in a match appreciate them for their efforts rather than pointing out minor mistakes or describe how others did even better.
•    Note: Fathers please stop boasting about things from your own sport achievements. Your child is playing in a different era.

  Can I accept my child's disappointments?

•          In addition to accepting your child’s accomplishments, parents should support their children when they are disappointed and hurt. This may mean watching them play poorly, or not being embarrassed, ashamed, or angry when your 10-year-old cries after losing. When a disappointment occurs, you should be able to help your children see the positive side of the situation and teach them how to move on.

Can I show my child self control?

•         Parents are important role models for their children's behavior  It’s not surprising to find that parents who lose control of themselves often have children who are prone to emotional outbursts and poor self-discipline. If you are to expect sportsmanship and self-control from your children, you need to exhibit the same qualities in your own behavior.

Can I share my son or daughter?

•          This requires putting your child completely in the coach's charge and trusting him to guide the sport experience. This responsibility doesn't mean that you can’t have input, but the coach is the boss! If you are going to undermine the coach leadership , it’s best for all concerned not to have your child in the program.

Remember, communication with the coach and child plays a very important role in your child's development.